Real Ones

 

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

 -Anais Nin

In your 20’s you come to terms with who you are every day. Some  ignore it and others deal with the grunt of it head on. It’s a fragile phase because you’re met with all facets of your self, the good, bad and ugly. In that haywire time of growing up and figuring life out, your support system could make or break you. I use to despise when older folks would school me with the “you are the company you keep” line. It was a phrase that I heard time after time, clearly they were filling me in on something I had to see myself.

I ran with a lot of girls, childhood friends, new friends, industry friends. I epitomized  #squadgoals before it was a hashtag. I loved having friends, I had no understanding of deciphering what type of friend they should be. I held every acquaintance dear to my heart, to my surprise it wasn’t always reciprocated. I did theeee most and slowly realized that was a big mistake.

I was friends with them ALL, the manipulators, the “I have an agenda only” friend, the “I want you to be great but not better than me” friend, the list goes on. I’m chuckling as to how shocked and heartbroken I became in realizing this (so green lol). Every year a friendhip faded out,  less friends meant the weight in my life got lighter.

When the smoke cleared, my #realones remained. No judgements, motives are false pretense. I can have real ugly cries about life shit and not feel like I have to watch my back because someone seen me have a vulnerable moment. My single adventures don’t get the judgmental side-eye, my asshole theories and jokes are respected LOL and my shortcomings aren’t strategically chopped and screwed for laughs. It’s rare to find friendships where everyone is cut from the same cloth, I’m blessed beyond measures:)

Our very candid conversations, struggles, aspirations, hurts, joys and unwavering love has helped heal some of my greatest emotional wounds. Our humor, oh our humor can cut like a knife…”misfits” type of humor has carried me in good spirits for years.The relationships with my core friends have allowed me to live a life where i’m in tuned with reality. I am always challenged and forced to shed my illusions. It’s a big part of why I chose to do this.

Writing about my dating escapades might be a lot to take in for some readers but living to find purpose and truth is all that I know-the truth in all it’s complex glory…So many girls don’t have that outlet in real life, i’ve seen some of the most bizarre facades live out between a lot of “friendships.”

So what if you been broke, scared, confused and embarassed. I had awful ends to dating, bad days or confused points in my life, shit I’m still confused. Life’s has its trials, just remember your on the road to something…discovering more and more of who you are.

There’s no filter in real life, so I write hoping to become a friend in your head, a resource to sigh relief so that you don’t feel insecure about the experiences that aren’t said out loud..
Pat:)

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